What if People With BPD Had a Soundtrack?
As I was driving home from grocery shopping today, Pink (P!nk) came on the radio. If her song “Please don’t leave me” doesn’t speak directly to the heart of many who experience borderline personality disorder (BPD) or emotional sensitivity, I don’t know what does.
Have listen for yourself, and let me know what you think:
(Note/Trigger Warning/TW: The video has some potentially triggering images of violence and other disturbing images. You may just want to listen to the lyrics)
When I was in my late teens and into my early to mid-twenties, I had different songs that resonated with the distress and sometimes angst that I felt, including Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know,” and Jewel’s “Foolish Games.” Warning, they are both dramatic, and not necessarily effective mood-picker-uppers depending on how you’re feeling emotionally.
One of the reasons why these certain songs, among others, helped convey the BPD experience for me (even when I didn’t even know I had it) is because they matched the level of incredibly intensity with which I felt most of the time. Sadness was usually never just sadness – it was the pit of despair. Missing someone was usually never just missing them – it was feeling as if I were being torn apart in the most painful, excruciating way. I was no stranger to extreme emotional states.
So, if you could create a soundtrack to help express to others what it feels like to have BPD, be in recovery, or be emotionally sensitive, what songs would be in your mix? Have you ever told someone, “Hey, you gotta listen to this song – it’ll explain exactly how I feel!”?
Thanks for reading.
More Soon.
In kindness,
Learn how implementing DBT Skills into my daily life helped me OVERCOME Borderline Personality Disorder and THRIVE as an emotionally sensitive person. Click HERE to learn more and to sign up for my online, worldwide, live, weekly DBT psychoeducational class, where I teach you everything I learned. Class is co-facilitated by a therapist who is also in recovery from BPD.
I hate you don’t leave me by Demi Lovato, I’m sensitive by Jewel, Strong Enough by Stacie Orrico. Hugs!
Hi Karla,
Great examples, and hugs right back atchya!
In kindness,
Debbie
I have a BPD Playlist on my blog :P
1. Bitch by Meredith Brooks
2. I’m Still Hot by Luciana
3. Drama Queen by Suzie McNeil
4. Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit
5. Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park (The entire Hybrid Theory and Meteroa album actually)
6. One More Night by Maroon 5
7. Tourniquet by Evanesence
8. I Bruise Easily by Natasha Bedingfield
9. Slow Me Down by Emmy Rossum
10. Nobody’s Perfect by Jessie J
11. Black Widow by Iggy Azalea
12. Never Gonna Let You Go by Esthero
13. Foundations by Kate Nash
Hi Kristen,
Ooooh great list. Some REALLY intensely emotional songs on here. Some of them I haven’t yet heard, so I’ll need to check them out!
Thank you,
Debbie
I listened to the song by Pink called Please Don’t Leave Me and watched the video. To me, it describes the pushing and pulling away of the person she seemed to love the most. In BPD, abandonment is a huge fear but so is getting close. Hence, the extreme emotions of violence and longing shown in Pink’s video. It also reminds me of the song I Hate You Don’t Leave Me by Demi Lavato.
Hi Karla,
Very insightful about both the lyrics and the visual message in this video. Thanks for sharing!
In kindness,
Debbie
I always identify with I walk alone by Green Day – it has the bonus of having “borderline” right in the lyrics.
Hi K,
*Totally* about this song from Green Day. That lyric is perfect!
Hugs,
Debbie
“Foolish Games”!!! This has been my absolute all-time favorite song since I was only six years old, and I’m now 27. I always wondered why this song had a calling out to me, but now that I am aware of my diagnosis and my emotions it all makes sense.
Hi Valerie,
Thanks for sharing!
Hugs,
Debbie
“Everybody’s Fool” by Evanescence and “Breathe Me” by Sia, definitely.
Beautiful choices. Thank you Rebecca!
A good many valbeulas you’ve given me.
So glad you found this information valuable, Dell. Thanks for reading and commenting! ♥
Make me wanna die by The Pretty Reckless
No reflection by Marilyn Manson
Ophelia by Emilie Autumn
Time for tea by Emilio Autumn
Most of Linkin Park’s songs
Last resort by Papa Roach
Comforting lie by No Doubt
This means war by Avenged Sevenfold
Hi Kifyha — thank you for this list! I am familiar with many of the artists you listed but not the songs. I’ll need to check them out.
Thank you for sharing!
In kindness,
Debbie
“Dark Side” by Kelly Clarkson is amazing…
“There’s a place that I know
It’s not pretty there and few have ever gone
If I show it to you now
Will it make you run away?
Or will you stay?
Even if it hurts
Even if I try to push you out
Will you return?
And remind me who I really am
Please remind me who I really am”
So many good ones from Kelly Clarkson. Thank you for sharing, Maggie! ♥
For sure most of Pinks songs..
Jane says by Janes Addiction
Hate Me by Blue October
Down with a sickness by Disturbed
Bodies by Drowning Pool
Plush By STP
Thank you so much for these suggestions, Sandy! I am not familiar with many of them and will check them out!
Hi Debbie thanku for sharing. your posts they have helped me to understand even more about my self & my bpd condition. It’s like a puzzle for me. slowly bit by bit I’m putting the pieces together & starting to understand me my self as a person thank you so much you have helped me more than any doctor or mental health ppl ever have. Xxx
Cara, thank you so much for this beautiful comment. It means the world to me! I wish you continued growth and wellness! ♥
This is one of my favorite songs that I feel is a song that has been like a soundtrack to my life, not so much in relationships but just emotionally: Every day is exactly the same by Nine Inch Nails
However I have more recently been more positive and upbeat in life and chosen a new soundtrack song to my life which I pump up every time I need to feel better : FIGHT SONG by Rachel Platten
Thank you so much for your suggestions, Jaclyn! ♥
My All-Time faves? Hole-“Reasons to be Beautiful” and Sarah McLachlan-“Building a Mystery”.
Did you go to high school in the 90s, like me, Sonya? Hole and Sara McLachlan. Good stuff! ♥
If my life had a soundtrack it would be anything by Bright Eyes or any of Conor Oberst’s other projects, for that matter. Nothing else comes so close to capturing what this feels like. I would go so far as to say that his music has saved my life, it’s so profound for me. It kind of makes me wonder if he may be Borderline. I shouldn’t guess about someone whom I’ve never met, I don’t presume to know , but whatever it be, his more recent music has conveyed some spiritual transformation that certainly gives me hope as an individual with BPD.
Thank you for sharing, Heather! ♥
The last THE WEEKND album ” Beauty behind the madness” is perfect! I can guess he has been through some rough times! Talking about Pink…”don’t let me get me” is a huge anthem for me…Ed Sheeran ”Make it rain”, ”Drunk”…Tove Lo’s last album ..beyoncé ”Broken-hearted girl”… Kid Cudi ”Soundtrack 2 my life”… Birdy…and many more…don’t know what i would do without music! Luckily, there are some more cheerful songs on my phone lately…DBT therapy is working…not all the time, not every day…but it’s a lot better than it’s ever been. Keep on rockin’ Debbie! Greeting from Québec, Canada. :)
Good ones Dana! ♥