Have you ever had a moment where you felt completely overwhelmed, and then someone simply said, “I understand why you are feeling that way”? In that single second, the heavy weight of isolation usually begins to lift. Being truly understood is one of the most powerful experiences we can have as humans. It lowers our emotional temperature and helps us feel safe enough to move forward.

In Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), we call this the Validation skill. It is a core part of building healthy relationships with others and, perhaps most importantly, with yourself.

What Is Validation?

Validation is the act of showing someone that their feelings, thoughts, or experiences make sense. It is the practice of communicating that a person’s reaction is understandable given the context.

It is important to remember that validation does not mean you agree with everything the other person is saying. It does not mean you have to approve of their behavior or pretend that a problem does not exist. You are simply acknowledging that their internal experience is real. When you validate, you are not trying to “fix” them or offer immediate advice. You are offering the gift of being seen.

When to Use the Validation Skill

You can use the Validation skill DBT in almost any interaction, but it is especially helpful during tense conversations. When emotions are high, jumping straight to a solution often feels like a dismissal. By validating first, you create a bridge of trust.

This skill is also vital for self-criticism. Many of us are our own toughest judges. When you are being hard on yourself, try to pause and validate your own feelings. Notice the emotion, name it, and remind yourself that it makes sense why you feel that way.

Learning the Skills at DBT Path

At DBT Path, we have been providing the original online DBT skills classes since 2013. We understand that learning these skills in a safe, non-judgmental space makes all the difference. Our classes are taught by our founder, Debbie DeMarco Bennett, and Dr. Kathryn Holt. You will have the same two teachers every single week, which helps build a consistent and cozy learning environment.

Our program is a lecture-style classroom education, which means no personal sharing is required. You can learn the full DBT curriculum including Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness from the comfort of your home. Plus, we include personalized written homework feedback to help you apply these skills to your real life.

If you want to dive deeper into the steps of validating yourself and others, read our full guide on the Validation skill.

Ready to start your journey toward emotional balance? We would love to have you in our community.

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