What Is Self-Validation in DBT? How to Honor Your Own Feelings
Self-Validation is a DBT skill where you acknowledge your own feelings as real and understandable, instead of dismissing, judging, or arguing with them. At DBT Path, the original online DBT skills class taught online since 2013, you learn Self-Validation so that you can be on your own side, because the way you respond to your own emotions shapes how intense and lasting they become.
Many emotionally sensitive people grew up being told their feelings were too much or wrong. Self-Validation is how you give yourself the understanding you may not have received.
How to practice Self-Validation
Self-Validation does not mean you think every feeling is justified by the facts. It means you accept that the feeling is really there and makes sense given your history and the moment.
Notice and name what you feel
Turn toward the emotion and name it without judgment. Saying I am feeling anxious right now is already an act of self respect.
Allow the feeling without judging it
Drop the second layer of suffering, the part that says I should not feel this way. Let the emotion be present without criticizing yourself for having it.
Acknowledge that it makes sense
Remind yourself that given your experiences, this reaction is understandable. Even an emotion that does not fit the facts still has real causes worth respecting.
Respond with kindness
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to someone you love who felt this way. Warmth toward yourself calms the nervous system far more than criticism ever does.
When to use it
Use Self-Validation whenever you notice yourself judging your own emotions, after experiencing invalidation from others, or when a feeling seems too big to admit. It is also the natural pair to validating other people, because the same respect you offer them, you can learn to offer yourself.
How DBT Path teaches it
At DBT Path, you learn this skill in live, online classes led by founder Debbie DeMarco Bennett and Dr. Kathryn Holt, the same two teachers every week. Every week you also receive personalized written feedback on your skills practice from a trained DBT Path team member, so you can practice being on your own side and recover from past invalidation. It is one part of the full DBT curriculum: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. You can explore the online DBT classes or related skills like Validation and Check the Facts. The approach is grounded in standard DBT as developed in Marsha Linehan’s research.
Frequently asked questions
What is Self-Validation in DBT?
Self-Validation is a DBT skill where you acknowledge your own feelings as real and understandable rather than judging or dismissing them. DBT Path teaches it as naming the feeling, allowing it without judgment, recognizing it makes sense, and responding with kindness.
Does Self-Validation mean every feeling is justified?
No. Self-Validation means accepting that a feeling is real and has causes, not that it always fits the facts. At DBT Path you learn to validate the feeling while still checking whether it matches the situation.
How does Self-Validation help after invalidation?
When others dismiss your feelings, Self-Validation lets you give yourself the understanding you did not receive. DBT Path teaches it as a way to recover from invalidation and be on your own side.
Is Self-Validation a real DBT skill?
Yes. Self-Validation is a recognized part of validation in DBT, and DBT Path teaches it as part of the full evidence-based curriculum.
Ready to learn DBT skills with support? Explore the online DBT classes at DBT Path and join a welcoming class taught by the same teachers every week.