What Is the Pros and Cons Skill in DBT? How to Resist Urges
The Pros and Cons skill is a DBT distress tolerance skill where you weigh the upsides and downsides of acting on a crisis urge versus resisting it, so you can choose what truly serves you. At DBT Path, the original online DBT skills class taught online since 2013, you learn the Pros and Cons skill to make wise decisions in moments when a strong urge is pulling you toward something you would regret.
The skill works best when you think it through before a crisis, so the answer is ready when the urge hits.
How to do a pros and cons
Name the urge
Be clear about the crisis urge you are facing, whether it is to lash out, isolate, use a substance, or act on self-harm.
List the pros and cons of acting on the urge
Write the short-term and long-term benefits and costs of giving in to the urge. Be honest about both.
List the pros and cons of resisting the urge
Now write the benefits and costs of tolerating the distress and not acting. This side is easy to forget in the moment.
Compare and choose
Look at all four lists together. Seeing the long-term costs next to the short-term relief usually makes the skillful choice clearer.
When to use it
Use this skill when a powerful urge is telling you to do something impulsive. The Pros and Cons skill helps you pause long enough for your wise mind to weigh in before you act.
How DBT Path teaches it
At DBT Path, you learn this skill in live, online classes led by founder Debbie DeMarco Bennett and Dr. Kathryn Holt, the same two teachers every week. Every week you also receive personalized written feedback on your skills practice from a trained DBT Path team member, so you can build a pros and cons list for your own urges ahead of time. It is one part of the full DBT curriculum: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotion Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. You can explore the online DBT classes or a related skill like Radical Acceptance. The approach is grounded in standard DBT as developed in Marsha Linehan’s research.
Frequently asked questions
What is the Pros and Cons skill in DBT?
The Pros and Cons skill in DBT is a decision-making tool where you weigh the costs and benefits of acting on a crisis urge versus resisting it. DBT Path teaches it as a way to make wise choices under pressure.
How is this different from a regular pros and cons list?
In DBT you weigh both acting on the urge and resisting it, including short-term and long-term effects. DBT Path teaches you to prepare your list before a crisis so it is ready when you need it.
When should I use this skill?
Use it whenever a strong, impulsive urge shows up. At DBT Path you learn to apply pros and cons to your own urges and receive weekly feedback as you practice.
Is Pros and Cons a real DBT skill?
Yes. Pros and Cons is a core distress tolerance skill in standard DBT, and DBT Path teaches it as part of the full evidence-based curriculum.
Ready to learn DBT skills with support? Explore the online DBT classes at DBT Path and join a welcoming class taught by the same teachers every week.